I am a writer and the founder of The SELF Project. She is the author of three books, One Teenager at a Time: Developing Self-Awareness and Critical Thinking in Adolescents, Happy Healthy Teens: Why Focusing on Relationship Works, and Truth Has a Different Shape. My work has also appeared in anthologies about food, reproductive rights, and cancer, as well as in online outlets like The Feminist Wire and Ms. Magazine. My work centers on relationship and I work with individuals, organizations, and families to remove barriers to effective communication and build psychological safety so that we can create resilient, connected communities.
On Humanitarianism and Collective Care
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This email is something I have deliberated about for the last few days, mostly because my knee-jerk reaction to asking for help - ANY kind of help - is to dismiss that idea out of hand and buckle down and do the thing myself. It is something I have spent decades cultivating; this ability to just figure something out on my own and take pride in my tenacity and perseverance when I'm finally done (exhausted, spent, overwhelmed, but done). But, even if there weren't things I can't handle alone, I am learning that if I am going to walk my talk, asking for help and cultivating the ability to not only solicit help but to actually receive it is a necessity. For years, I've worked with nonprofit organizations and mutual aid groups and absolutely shuddered at the idea of asking for money, even as I 100% BELIEVE in the causes I am supporting. Since November of 2023, I have been working to support folks in Gaza - both those who are staying and those who are working to get out to safety when they can. Mostly, I've posted other people's appeals on my social media, amplifying them, but I have also sponsored a GoFundMe and raised money quietly through close friends to support folks on my own. One family that I am working with closely needs to evacuate sooner rather than later. I am not going to go into the details of their story here because it feels a little like trauma porn - that their story has to be laid bare and all of the horrific parts of it somehow validate their need for support. I'm not buying that. I can vouch for them and their need to leave Gaza and get medical care for their son as soon as possible and be reunited with their family in Cairo who we have already evacuated. In order to do this, we need upwards of $10,000, and to be honest, when I first realized that, I wanted to sell some stock or something and just pony up the money myself if I could. But in the spirit of community building and mutual aid, I know that asking folks to pitch in what they can is the right thing to do. In a conversation with my friend Susan today, I was reminded that people want to help, and I was also reminded that if I ask and someone else feels upset by that, that's not mine to carry. I don't want anyone to feel guilty for not being able to help. I don't want anyone to think that I'm judging you or keeping score. But it's not my responsibility to manage anyone else's response to being asked to help. Should you find yourself compelled to help and able to do so, you can send me money via Zelle (odriscoll@msn.com) or Venmo (@Kari-ODriscoll) or PayPal (@Karilodriscoll). Any amount is helpful - $5, $40, $150, $500. Ahmed and his family are tremendously grateful for the support and care of folks who want to see them stay healthy and safe until there is a ceasefire. And I am beyond grateful to this community of folks who continue to help me understand what it means to create and be held in community and grow together. If you want to help but can't swing it right now, please consider forwarding this appeal on to folks you think might be interested in pitching in. Being able to tell Ahmed and his family that dozens of people donated to help his family stay safe and evacuate would be a really beautiful message of solidarity to share. Thank you. Thank you. |
Connective Tissue Coaching & Consulting
I am a writer and the founder of The SELF Project. She is the author of three books, One Teenager at a Time: Developing Self-Awareness and Critical Thinking in Adolescents, Happy Healthy Teens: Why Focusing on Relationship Works, and Truth Has a Different Shape. My work has also appeared in anthologies about food, reproductive rights, and cancer, as well as in online outlets like The Feminist Wire and Ms. Magazine. My work centers on relationship and I work with individuals, organizations, and families to remove barriers to effective communication and build psychological safety so that we can create resilient, connected communities.
September is a month of transition. School begins again in a lot of places, the seasons shift, and the pace seems to change, regardless of where you are in the world. I love a transition for its power to bring me back to intention, to figuring out what it is that I really want, that I am working toward. I have a chalkboard up next to my desk on which I've written: What do I value most? Where do I find them in work, relationship, spiritual practice? How can I be intentional about bringing...
I was in an online gathering a couple of months ago, listening to Miriam Juan-Torres González talk about fascism (Miriam is the head of research for the Othering and Belonging Institute at Berkeley) and she said something I'd never heard before: that one of the most insidious things about living with fascism is that there is a large portion of the population for whom their lives won't change very much. That idea has been rattling around in my head pretty consistently since then and I can see...
I was in an online gathering a couple of months ago, listening to Miriam Juan-Torres González talk about fascism (Miriam is the head of research for the Othering and Belonging Institute at Berkeley) and she said something I'd never heard before: that one of the most insidious things about living with fascism is that there is a large portion of the population for whom their lives won't change very much. That idea has been rattling around in my head pretty consistently since then and I can see...